self-compassion (feb 2024)
what is self-compassion?
The word compassion literally means to “suffer with.”
Compassion arises when we notice someone who is suffering, our heart responds to their pain in such a way that we feel warmth, caring and the desire to help in some way. We understand that this person’s suffering is part of the human experience.
Self-compassion involves acting that same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. We aim to treat ourselves the same way we would a good friend who is having a difficulty.
why practice self-compassion?
Much research has been done on self-compassion and how beneficial it can be in increasing feelings of happiness, optimism, curiosity and connectedness, as well as decreasing anxiety, depression, rumination and fear of failure.
how do I practice self-compassion?
Kristen Neff is a co-founder of the Centre for Mindful Self-Compassion and has done extensive research on this very topic. She identifies three key elements of practicing self-compassion:
Self-kindness vs. Self-judgement
The recognition of imperfection and the acceptance that life inevitably includes difficulties are key components of self-compassion. It's a realistic and compassionate approach to ourselves, understanding that setbacks and failures are a natural part of the human experience. This perspective contrasts with the detrimental effects of self-criticism, which can amplify suffering and hinder emotional resilience.
Accepting the realities of life with sympathy and kindness contributes to a more balanced and stable emotional state. It allows individuals to navigate challenges with a sense of understanding, fostering resilience and adaptive coping mechanisms.
In essence, self-compassion is about cultivating a supportive and nurturing relationship with ourselves, which can lead to greater emotional well-being and a more positive approach to life's inevitable ups and downs.
Common humanity vs. Isolation
Acknowledging that frustration and suffering are universal experiences can help individuals develop a healthier perspective on their own challenges. When we recognize that imperfection and setbacks are part of the human condition, it becomes easier to approach our struggles with a sense of common humanity.
By understanding that others also face difficulties and make mistakes, it becomes less isolating. This shared human experience fosters empathy, reduces feelings of shame, and encourages a more realistic and compassionate view of ourselves. It's a shift from a mindset of self-criticism and isolation to one of self-kindness and connection.
Embracing the shared nature of human suffering can contribute to the development of self-compassion, allowing individuals to navigate challenges with greater understanding, acceptance, and resilience.
Mindfulness vs. Over-identification
The incorporation of mindfulness into self-compassion is a key aspect. Mindfulness involves observing thoughts and feelings without judgment, allowing them to exist in awareness without being overly identified with them. This non-judgmental, receptive mindset enables individuals to acknowledge and validate their emotions without getting overwhelmed by negative reactivity.
Not ignoring pain while still feeling compassion for it underscores the delicate balance required in self-compassion. It's about being present with our emotions, recognizing them without judgment, and responding with kindness and understanding.
Self-compassion involves a balanced and mindful approach to negative emotions, placing them in a broader perspective and fostering a non-judgmental awareness that allows for both acknowledgment and compassion.
self-compassion is self-care
Taking into consideration all of these steps, it is easy to tell ourselves that self-compassion is self-indulgent and a form of self-pity. However, consider that self-pity is quite egocentric in nature and that self-indulgence looks to put pleasure as the primary goal. In contrast, we will find that self-compassion is a bridge that connects the individual's experiences with the collective experiences of humanity, and indeed has the potential to serve as a powerful catalyst for personal growth and positive change - putting immediate pleasure aside.
In addition, some might even say that self-compassion comes across as simply a healthy dose of self-esteem. With self-compassion, individuals don't need to measure themselves against external standards or feel superior to others to validate their sense of worth. Instead, self-compassion recognizes that everyone is deserving of care and empathy simply by virtue of being human. It transcends the need for comparison and competition, fostering a more inclusive and supportive relationship with ourselves.
care to give self-compassion a try?
or maybe delve deeper into this practice?
This month all of my online and in-person classes will incorporate the theme of self-compassion so that we can practice it regularly and with purpose. Join me - I would love to see you there!
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centering for stress and anxiety (oct 2023)
Centering: a technique whose aim is to increase and focus attention and energy, to provide relief from stress and anxiety, or both.
How can centering support me? How do I “center”?
Although autumn officially began near the end of September, our minds and bodies tend to fall into a new busy schedule as we begin September. Now, in October, we are in the thick of it. In addition, as we look ahead there could be additional commitments on the horizon heading into our winter season.
Centering is a valuable practice for managing stress and anxiety in today's fast-paced world. It involves finding balance, inner peace, and a sense of calm. This month I have been focusing on centering practices in my classes so that my students may be able to tap into them when they are off the mat and things feel a little off-kilter.
awareness ~ find your center ~ breathe
Awareness: When you become aware that you're feeling off balance or experiencing stress and anxiety, it's like turning on a light in a dark room. You illuminate the issue and gain clarity on what's happening within you. Recognizing your own emotional and mental state allows you to acknowledge your feelings, thoughts, and reactions, without judgment. This awareness empowers you to address any imbalances.
Find your center: Your center of gravity, located about two inches below your navel, is considered the core of your physical and mental balance. When you focus on this area, it helps you align your posture and distribute your weight more evenly, reducing physical strain and tension. Here are some yoga asana (poses) and mudra (hand gestures) to help accentuate this focus (also see the pictures above this article). The mudra can be done anywhere at any time, even while practicing your asana!
Vrksasana (tree pose)
Utkata Konasana (goddess pose)
Parivrtta Prasarita Padottanasana (wide forward fold twist)
Tadasana (mountain pose)
Dhyana Mudra (meditation gesture) - Rest your hands on your lap, right hand over the left, with the thumbs lightly touching each other. This mudra is commonly used during meditation to center the mind.
Trimurti Mudra (gesture of the trinity) - Place the on the low belly with fingers together. Extend the thumbs out to touch at their tips and join the index fingertips to form a downward facing triangle.
Breathe: Where you place your attention is a critical aspect of regaining balance and reducing stress and anxiety. When you shift your attention to your breath, it can help you calm your nervous system, reduce racing thoughts, and regain a sense of control. It's a simple and effective way to center yourself when feeling overwhelmed. Deep, diaphragmatic breathing can help calm your nervous system. Take slow, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your nose or mouth.
How does this work?
Through this centering process you are redirecting the negative swirling energy into a calm energy. As you become more aware of your center and practice deep breathing, you're redirecting your energy from the fight-or-flight response associated with stress to a more balanced and grounded state. This redirection allows you to use your energy more efficiently.
Benefits of centering
Besides an in the moment shift in energy, here are some other benefits to be had:
releasing tension - When you're stressed or tense, your body and mind are often in a state of heightened alertness, which can be physically and mentally draining. Centering practices help you release this tension, allowing your body to relax and your mind to calm down.
improved focus - Centering helps you focus your energy and attention on the present moment, which can be especially beneficial in tasks that require concentration and clarity. It allows you to direct your energy toward the task at hand rather than being scattered.
enhanced resilience - You become better at managing and responding to challenging situations, which means that stress has less of a negative impact on your overall energy levels.
positive mindset - We shift from an anxious or negative mindset to one of calm and positivity. This shift allows you to approach challenges with a more optimistic and constructive attitude, which can be energizing in itself.
physical well-being - When you're not constantly in a state of stress, your body is better able to repair and maintain itself, leading to improved overall energy levels.
Final thoughts
There are many other strategies to releasing these difficult feelings of stress and anxiety, with centering being just one of them. If your feelings persist or become overwhelming, consider talking to a mental health professional or a counselor. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
Remember that centering is a personal practice, and what works best for one person may not work for another. Experiment with these techniques and find what helps you feel most centered and balanced in your busy world.
what on earth is yoga therapy? (aug 2023)
Is it yoga? Yes! But not the fitness-oriented group class type of yoga. This is highly personalized yoga that may or may not include movement. Hmmmm…. No movement, so you mean restorative yoga? Yes, restorative yoga can be included in yoga therapy but yoga in general has so much more to offer than the poses we are used to seeing.
So, I am new at this, but here is what I can tell you so far….
holistic approach
A yoga therapist will work with you to create a unique practice to meet your very individual needs. Maybe you are recovering from a surgery, struggling with your mental health, going through cancer treatments, or feeling generally fatigued all the time. Whatever your situation, a yoga therapist will draw on all that yoga has to offer to assist you in managing your own care and progress.
not your typical yoga practice
In yoga therapy you might do specific poses (asana), breathwork (pranayama), meditation, journaling, mudra (hand gestures), or mantra to support the whole you and assist you into moving to a healthier state. Your therapy could include one, some, or many of the tools that your therapist has training in.
scientific support
These days yoga therapists are fortunate that there has been quite a bit of yoga-focused research over the last few years which informs their practice. More research is on the horizon and there is work being done behind the scenes to get insurance companies on board to cover yoga therapy in their benefit packages.
team approach
This care can often be in conjunction with a medical team, or could be something that you seek out on your own as part of your own self-care. The yoga therapist is trained to work alongside any other practitioners you might be working with to support you and your ongoing care.
Those are the basics for now!
Keep an eye out for more details to come. :)